I believe there are a few moments in everyone’s life when they are made aware of the fact that they are truly alive. It can happen anytime, anywhere; something clicks and you understand that this moment, this exact moment is going to be one of the best of your life. This is a moment to remember, to cherish, a moment you wish could last forever. But part of the beauty of that one particular moment is that it will only last a couple of seconds, minutes, maybe an hour, if you’re lucky.
We all have memories of times that were wonderful, amazing, times to remember forever. The difference with these almost transcendental moments is that the significance of it hits us in the moment; it’s not something we realize was important later.
I was lucky enough to have one of these moments the summer before last. I was with a friend of mine; well more like my soul mate (but my views on that term is a whole other blog topic) and we had gone on a date. We went out for dinner then to a play and finally sat on a bench looking out on a lake for almost three hours. That was all lovely and if that was all that happened that night I would always hold the memory of it very dearly. However, something else happened that truly awakened all my senses. When we finally decided to leave the lake and head home it was around 2:30am. I was wearing extremely inappropriate shoes for walking long distances and therefore a cab was needed. As we walked to the main road we noticed the complete lack of taxies, which was a little nerve-wracking. We were in a neighbourhood neither of us knew at all and the blisters were forming on my heels. We wondered for almost an hour, mainly in circles, trying to find our way home.
That’s when the arguing started; we both thought opposite directions would lead us home and neither of us were willing to compromise. The arguing turned to yelling which lead to a full blown fight about everything we had ever kept from each other. We must have been fighting for about twenty minutes; I had tears streaming down my face and he wouldn’t look at me. He caved and said fine we could go the way I wanted. I walked towards him, took his hand and he put his arm around me (more to help me walk than out of affection, but it’s what I desperately needed) and we set off again. I wasn’t paying attention to where I stepped and unfortunately stepped right into one of the holes in a sewer. My heel went right into it and I was about to fall right on my behind. You however were there to rescue me; you caught me and pulled me up. The shoe was not so lucky, the heel snapped right off. That was it; I just sunk to the floor and started crying. I was tired and cold and just wanted to be home. I was so overwhelmed that I became hysterical. You didn’t know what to do; the look on your face was priceless. Your mouth was hanging open and your eyes were as wide as can be; a deer caught in the headlights. You finally came to your sense, sat down and wrapped your arms around me. And that is when it happened. I looked in your emerald eyes and completely lost myself. You captivated me; I couldn’t have looked away if I wanted to.
I never wanted that moment to end, just sitting with you made me happier than I had ever been. What started off as a little giggle soon turned into side splitting laughter. The ridiculous situation paired with our exhaustion made for the funniest thing either of us had ever experienced. I wanted to spend forever laughing with you, but I knew it had to end. I knew that soon the laughter would die down to the occasional chuckle and eventually stop altogether. It was one of the best moments of my life and was followed by one of the worst. It was the happiest I had ever been, and it felt amazing. But I knew that I would always compare future moments to it, would they compare? Could they compare? Is it possible to be so perfectly happy twice? It was such a terrible fear and as hard as I tried to shove it deep down inside of me and erase it from my mind it left traces, marks to remind me it was there…
I wouldn’t trade that night, any part of it, for anything in the world. I will remember, cherish, love and treasure every second of it for as long as I live.
I guess, the whole point of this blog was to say I miss you; I think about you all the time. You’ve made a lasting impression on me that I value more than anything.
I love you forever, I love you for always. As long as I’m living, my best friend you will be.
